Affected

I have been asked, and therefore, always asked myself, what it is I am getting at when I am leading worship.  What it is that I am trying to accomplish.  This is complicated because the song service has a different significance for everybody.  Early on, all I could get at was to strum the guitar correctly and sing on key (singing on key is even still a challenge  ;)  But then, I have sensed that many Christians find no more significance in the moment than just going through motions.  "We sing because that's just what we do."  Just filling slots on a flow sheet.  You can easily tell when a church sings "just because."  I won't write specific examples, but you can just tell, you know?

I have always known that there is a much deeper significance than I will ever be able to wrap my mind around and I have always been trying to strive for that, sometimes trying so hard that it was counter productive, and because of that, people have given me pushback, asking if I am just trying to stir up an emotional feeling? Or just some empty sensational song service? Or wanting people to be disingenuous in their theatrical acts of praise.   I have finally found an answer that I believe is true.  Or at least truer than what I've known before.

I recently went to a church called The Stirring where I really resonate with the musical worship that is expressed. I walked in and started singing, but my heart was cold and hard and I looked at myself from a distance and realised that I looked like all those bored/tired people that I have tried to "stir up."  So I did some heart searching and realized that while I was going through all the right motions, I have not assumed a posture/mindset to be affected by God in a very long time. It's been months since I have been able to establish a consistent "secret place" and because of that, some days I forget to pray and bring myself before God.  So when I was at The Stirring, I repented of that and told God that my heart was ready to be affected by Him again.  Only after that did I sense that my heart was being romanced and that God was able to speak to me again.

This was such a refreshing reminder of, and return to God's presence.

I instantly started processing this and I figured out that this thing that just happened to me is what I've been getting at when I lead worship.

All I want is for everybody in the room to be affected by God.

And here's the thing that some might be uncomfortable with, but I believe it so hard right now: every moment that you are truly affected by God, it will show somehow on the outside. God is such a beautiful force of good that if you are truly encountering Him, you cannot keep from showing it. Some people raise their arms, some people sing, some people dance, some people hug dirty homeless people, other people just have a change in their face to where you can't explain why, but you know that God is touching them. 

Along this same line of thought is a conversation I had a few years back with Dave Bollen who is a worship leader I have studied learned from since I was about 17.  He said a church will sing in direct corrilation with how much they love God. At first, this seems like a bad idea...what if you get a room full up people who can't/don't like to sing? Ok, but really. When you are standing face to face with Love Himself is there anything else left to do but sing?

A bald, bearded pastor once said: "As a worship leader, I am just lighting candles, setting the mood for a divine love encounter."

So that is my vision for musical worship. For every person in the room to be deeply affected by the God who is Love.