I've heard people say that they feel judged in various circumstances and there is that verse in Matthew 7 that says "Judge not, that you be not judged" and I think Bart Vogel even sings a song about it. . .
I have also been realizing the importance of never speaking badly about a person or people group. I recently told a joke about Asian drivers and looked up and there was this Asian six feet away just staring at me with this shocked look on his face.
So I have started to really look out for what I say and think about the people around me. But at the same time I see the value in observing who a person is and evaluating their character to determine what I want our relationship to be like. If a person has a strong character and good values, I will want to spend more time with them and get to know them. . . who knows, maybe we could be friends! If a person has a weak character and is just meandering through life, I may place barriers between them and myself or even avoid them to preserve my interests. Does that make me an arrogant jerk? I feel like it does, but if you were really honest with yourself, don't you do the same thing??
I also am involved with picking people for various roles in different bands or ministries. I am constantly evaluating their character to decide if they are a good fit for that role.
So is there a difference between judging someone and making a judgement call on their character?
I think we constantly are faced with these decisions and having to make these calls. We shouldn't make these 'judgements' FOR other people, like "I feel this way about a person so you should too" - I don't think that's appropriate. I think we should be professional with everyone, and treat everyone with kindness. But we also get to decide who we invest our time in. That's not a judgement on the person, as much as it is a judgement on the value of a relationship. We can't have the same kind of relationship with everyone that we come in contact with. I think that's liberating to embrace. The alternative would be exhaustion and having nothing left for those who are closest to you. I don't know, maybe I'm getting off point here, or maybe I'm insensitive. I'm approaching it from the perspective of leading out in music for a ministry with between five and six hundred people meeting every weekend and knowing that not everyone that approaches me about getting involved will be a "good fit" - and having to make that call and move on. It's not easy.
ReplyDeleteAgreed!
ReplyDelete"we also get to decide who we invest our time in. That's not a judgement on the person, as much as it is a judgement on the value of a relationship."
I love it!